The flipped lid, as Siegel refers to a brain offline (the image where the four fingers are up and not cupped over the thumb/limbic system), commands a reaction from the limbic system; it screams danger! A threat to your mind and body. You temporarily do not have full access to your rational and thinking pre-frontal cortex, which allows you to process and reflect incoming information (the image that looks like a fist); this is how it operates when brain parts are on board and talking to each other. Knowing yourself in this process is essential, as well as what shows up for you when you “flip your lid.” How does your shame play into this? Do you shut down, freeze, fight, or flee in shame? What is your pattern? Know how to restore a fully engaged self that can be clear, concrete, and concise in what needs to be communicated and done in those difficult moments when your partner’s reaction triggers you. If nothing else, breathe in and out nice and slowly. Things don’t go well when both partners get triggered by each other’s triggers.
“The man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the
Lord God among the trees of the garden” (Genesis 3:8). How did Adam and Eve know to hide? God had given them clear and speciHic instructions: “You may freely eat any fruit in the garden except fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 1:15). Even when we think we’re at our best, we can fall short. This portion of scripture shows us how mighty the serpent was to tempt Eve and doubt God’s word. She gave in to Satan’s intelligent and cunning deceit by succumbing to his lies. Staying actively close to God and memorizing scripture will keep the evil one away. When our children were little, I would tell them to say the name of Jesus out loud when they felt tempted because Satan shudders and Hlees at this precious name.
Adam and Eve stood to fail, and they manipulated and shamed each other. Adam blamed God by telling him that he had given him the woman. “At that moment, their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness”(Genesis 1:7).