Today is a new day. You cannot undo what was done yesterday. Today is your golden opportunity to build on trust. Focus your attention to pay attention to promises you have made and commitments. In other words, keep your word.
Becoming is a book that takes you through the stories of many men and women who long for healing and for trust to be restored. In many cases, it is—and unfortunately, in many more, it doesn’t happen. If you are blessed to have a partner willing to stay, then embrace that gift and be willing to do the work.
You are not perfect, not God, and not a miracle worker. You will stumble and fall. Pick yourself back up. Make amends. A sincere apology—like the one in the book. And know that you cannot do this alone.
This is your new day. You are not defined by what you have done. You are in the development stages of making today become the new norm, and with this, you assign your commitment to becoming a man of his word to Jesus, others, and yourself (JOY). Integrity and grace go a long way.
Your partner will see and know your efforts. She wants, more than anything, for you to be the man she knows and believes in. I, too, am a partner, and I know this from my heart. I once told my husband, “That’s not you anymore. You’re better than that,” after he made a choice to retaliate against something that upset him in our neighborhood. It was upsetting to know that he would not consider the options. But his response is where grace was enlarged for me: “You’re right. That’s not me anymore. I’m going to make it right.”
My hope and trust in his ability to care about what’s important to me—and care enough to put aside pride and evil—make a huge impact. If you’re maintaining the work required to be safe, sober, healthy, and honest in your recovery, you too will join the ranks of the Braveheart Couples.
It’s all in due time. Don’t give up!!!! You have come too far.
Remember the lyrics of the song “Scars” by I Am They:
“Waking up to a new sunrise, looking back from the other side,
I can see now with open eyes.
Darkest water and deepest pain.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything,
‘Cause my brokenness brought me to you,
And these wounds are a story you’ll use.
So, I’m thankful for the scars.”
Only this kind of trust can rebuild and restore a relationship. Your wounds and scars—and those you’ve inflicted—cause brokenness and are part of the story God will use to create beauty from ashes.
In Him, because of Him,
Françoise